Emotional Maturity: The life upgrade that is often skipped by some people

Emotional Maturity

When we talk about being mature, it is being fully grown and a developed human.

When we talk about being mature, we talk about, taking the high road, being understanding, being productive, knowing your goals and working towards it, knowing your relationship with someone and working towards it, doing important work you need to finish rather than sitting around doing nothing.

I was taught that being mature is to not be irrational, figuring things out yourself, taking right decisions at right places, not to cry, not to look sad, not to say your problems out loud, I was taught that if I got stuck some where I would be stuck there always, I was called immature always just because I did not want everything to be done formally, I was called immature when I kept my self-respect above an elder's respect. I was called immature for crying at small things and also the things that shattered me from inside. Because that’s what this society has made up the definition of being mature, to look strong and be productive even though you are broken inside.

I'll tell you what I think real maturity is. I personally don’t think and I want to declare it as a fact desperately, that you can't reach top level of maturity or like even any  level with a lack of emotional intelligence. You call yourself mature? By putting someone else down just because they said out loud that they can't do it anymore? Just because you don’t see them struggling physically and you are too egoistic to see they are struggling emotionally?

Ever heard of being frozen in the moment? When you know what you want to do, what you need to do but can't get yourself to get up and do it? It's not lack of productivity, it's not lack of motivation, it's not laziness, it's not lack of goals and dreams, it’s more than that more than anyone who "pretends to be mature" will ever understand.

And no, I don’t blame everyone who claims themselves mature, that they are all egoistic and lack empathy. Some were stuck to "pretend to be mature" and act like a grown up when it was not even their time to be a grown up. Some were forced, to get up and just do something. Some did not have options and privileges like us right now, so they had to get up and act like they had it all together.

But that does not justify them forcing us to pretend to be mature, that does not justify criticising someone when all they want is someone to listen to them while they express their heart out, but instead they are told to get up and get their shit together because that’s what maturity is.

Maturity is when you give someone a safe space to express themselves, maturity is when you are not ashamed of expressing yourself, maturity is realizing that you won't become a weak person if one day you just sit and cry it out.

But I'll tell you what immaturity is, it is when you call someone immature or weak or uncool because they have a different way of doing things than you. Immaturity is when you throw your experiences of life on someone and make them live according to your experiences, rather than creating their own, it is when you sigh and make a disappointed face every time someone needs you, it is when you lack emotional intelligence, it is when you lack empathy, it is when you justify their every move "doing it for sympathy" or "you are weak".

Because if you can't express emotionally, be human, let someone else express emotionally, create a safe space for yourself and others, YOU CAN'T CALL YOURSELF A MATURE PERSON.

Reaching emotional maturity is actually what means to develop and grow as a human.