The curse of Youngest Daughter

 THE YOUNGEST DAUGHTER

"Every Eldest Daughter was the first lamb to the slaughter" ~ Taylor Swift

I am not the Eldest Daughter.

The opportunities, the responsibilities, the freedom, even the will to live has been in my hands since I was born. My rise and my downfall has been written by fate, as everyone keeps telling me, 

"You are meant for great things, and will have all the comforts"

I have an eldest brother, his opportunities, reponsibilities, freedom, is in the hands of the world. For, the world decides his fate. He was the first lamb to the slaughter, but I, the youngest has been an helpless victim too.

My hands raise to help, take the burden off the shoulders, carry it and balance with the world on the other; but they never reach.  Lazziness, unwillingness to leave the comfort, guilt, irresponsibility, disappointment, sympathy seeker? The reason remains unknown. For, the freedom that I got, the freedom that I cannot accept.

I feel the pain of the eldest, I feel their dreams being ripped apart, I feel everything through their eyes. The eyes that echoed for help but never asked for any, The eyes that filled with tears but still managed to not shed, The eyes that made me feel like home, the home that I would give up my fate and dreams for, even though I am the youngest.

Us youngest have a reputation, we are the manace, we would not do anything for the family and still be the favourite, most likely to run away and not looking back, most likely to show a tantrum and cry to get things or get out of things.

But I felt helpless, the self- indulgence went from a comfort blanket to my bed full of rose thorns. I felt as if I will get up and I would be teared apart. Then another guilt would add up if I have scrathes all over me and make everyone worry about me. Maybe that's the curse of the youngest daughter, feeling helpless, feeling guilty all the time, crushing selfish desires, and remain haunted forever.

"I do have the youngest daughter urge to go far away to another land, make my own belonging and a reputation far from this, but their's no home without the eldest." 


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