"My People" (a poetry i wrote that makes sense to me)

 I wandered through a park 

Where I would watch the sunset every day

Where everything was loud

Loud with laughter, loud with something I never had

Loud with a group that called themselves "my people"

I wandered and wondered 

Where are "my people"?

I wondered if it is a rare piece of happiness  

I wondered why I didn’t deserve that happiness 

So I walked out of the park

I walked out of the place that was not for me 

But then I turned around

Tired of walking away from everywhere

I wondered what would happen if I sat still in the park

I sat and sat and sat until sunset

I wondered if sunset was the only friend I will ever have

I wondered "my people" would sit beside me and ask "would you watch sunset with us every day?"

I looked around and there were people

It was real, and just like that many years of wonder, took only one sunset 

We watched many sunsets, and without exchanging any words we knew

We knew we were each other's 

"My people"

I did not think i deserved having friends who feel like home, that was the only explanation that my brain came up with because when i looked around, we were the same, so why not me? is it something i do differently that people don't like? Is it because i can't have a full conversation without getting awkward? I never knew, and anxiety filled inside me. until i got those people, amazing part is i wasn't even looking but just wondering.

When you reach a certain age, no more casual hangouts, parties, ride or die, etc matters. But sitting with certain people and talking about how you feel, what are your dreams, what food makes you happy, and knowing what makes you fall sick, knowing your small fears, knowing your small insecurities, knowing which smile you are faking and lot more. this is what matters, and how i want friendship to be defined as, which is way more than just having someone to hangout with. It is a made family that you pick up from wherever you go, hoping it stays evergreen forever.